self DENYing

first ..
this blog is inspired by : Gori & Popon
[ i lov u , popon . nama lo gue sebut ntuh ! =)]

uhm okey .. talking about love emang ga pernah ada abisnya . I think that in my last few days , my life is a bit full of lov problems . hehe . Mulai dari tetangga kamar kos gue yang lagi fall in lov banged sama someone , roomate gue yang ga selesai-selesai memilih , dan jatuh lah pada gue yang bingung gila sama sesuatu yang ACTUALLY ga perlu dibingungin .

Start from last Wednesday, when I i met my chupchup named DEA . She said to me that she watched Oprah Show on last Sunday and she remembered me. When I asked to her what would she said to me , she said " To left him .. is ur best decision ". Actually , i know who's that guy . Gue ga bisa bilang apa isi Oprah itu , karena sebagian close friend gue yang membacanya akan tau itu. Sudenlly , i was sad on that time . * yup, DEA , actually i know that it was d best decision ever*. Jadilah malam itu menjadi malam melacur [melakukan curhat-red]. Trus tanpa gue sadari .... " I was crying . " [ Oo God .. ! ]. Cuma dengan bilang kalo " LOVE is one thing that can't be changed ".

Hari kamis yang biasa saja menjadi cukup luar biasa dengan hari Jumat ini . Friday , i'm in the mood. After MPKT class [ actually , it wasn't finish yet ^^ ] , gue mesti ke SC buat kasih proposal GD. On the way back to class, gue akhirnya melacur [melakukan curhat-red] ke orang yang sudah siap dicurhati [haha]. It was a lil'conversation , but i can't stop think about that conversation . [ Arghh .. ]


DENY ..
It means refuse to admit the truth or existence of something..

Gue jadi mikir seberapa banyak hal yang gue denied selama ini. Tadinya , gue cuma bercerita tentang ketakutan gue ke senior yang selalu DIBILANGorang mirip ma gue . [ hufffss... -_-' ] . But , semuanya jadi lanjut jadi lacuran cinte. [beuuh]. I just told him about someone that * I thought before * i've forgot him . Gue sendiri sebenarnya ga tau apa kriteria dari masih mengingat atau melupakan. But this conv really made me REALIZE something.

T : Gue mesti lupa ni , de . Pokonya mesti lupa . Mesti lupa .
[sambil menepuk-nepuk kpala with TEMPO]
AG : Kalo lo bilang masih lupa , berarti lo emang masih inget .

[ jreng . jreng .. jreng ... Logically.. IYA juga yah ?!? ]

then , gue jadi berdiskusi kenapa setelah putus, banyak yang ga temenan. Cenderung menjauh , bakal memusuhi. Mantan-mantan lain diperlakukan biasa , sedangkan yang satu ini dimusuhin abis-abisan.

AG : Cara paling gampang buat ngelupain orang gimana ?
T : Ya jauhin ,, jangan diinget ,, kalo perlu musuhin ..
AG : Jadi klo ****** lo kaya gitu ?
T : [ quiet ..... wishing that it wasn't right dan lagian gue tau semua udah GONE ]
AG : Itu namanya self denying ..

ah gila.
SELF DENYING . only 2 words that struct me so bad

the more you try to forget , the more u will remember .
I'VE DENIED MY SELF..
to love is to let it go.love doesn't selfish.
Nyatanya , there always -even 1% in ur heart- a place for MEMORY to stay.
Love can be gone , but memory can't be erased.

kalo gitu , jalanin aja. Live life as it should be.
trima kasih banyak ya , gue sudah diingatkan untuk tidak mendenied kenyataan-kenyataan yang maybe it's hard for me to accept it all. I deserve to get better than before . Seseorang yang PANTAS buat dikasi lagu " Still with you". ^.^

Live your life from this day on
And love again
I know you'd do the same for me
That's the way that loves is supposed to be


Gue tunggu comment dalem bangednya lagi. * gutnite

10.19pm

my homm sweet homm