another nonetheless answer

announcement

2008-04-06T18:50:00.000-07:00

MOVING

patrisiapoopsticoalu.blogspot.com

see ya !! :D

the end of the journey

2008-01-28T05:40:00.000-08:00

hhhahh. setelah sekian lamanya tidak menulis dan sibuk menguruskan badan, akhirnya sekarang saya menulis lagi. mumpung lagi pengen menulis. [ hehee ]

kalo ngomong tentang Soeharto, pastinya itu topik yang lagi hot-hotnya dibahas di seluruh Indonesia. Mulai dari station tv, radio, sampe pas tadi gue duduk di coffee bean + cinnabon pim, orang-orang sebelah gue juga lagi gosipin Soeharto. ckckckck..

tapi sebenarnya, sejak Soeharto dikabarin meninggal, gue, sebagai warga negara Indonesia yang sangat nasionalis [ HAHA :D ], ikutan kepikiran sama kepergian dia. Sebagai pemilik nama PATRISIA, yang konon kata ibunda singkatan dari Patriot Indonesia, sepertinya cuma saya dan papa mama yang ga bosen ngomongin ini. Walaupun btw nyokap gue kurang kerjaan jg ngasih singkatan nama ky gitu. Bilang aja kek kaya orang venezuela di telenovela, atau apa kek... lah ini ?!!? gapapa sii, bangga jg gue :D * wiide smile *

senin minggu lalu (21/1/08) adek gue yg dodolski itu masuk RS karna gangguan pencernaan, bahasa kasarnya mencret. hhehe. tanpa disengaja, karna RSPP adalah RS kepercayaan keluarga gue, diopnamelah dia disana. Believe it or not, baru pertama kali gue liat RSPP penuh dengan orang, mobil segala macem station tv beserta antena-antena pemancarnya disana. Sempet gue sama nyokap iseng ke Lt 5 tempat Soeharto dirawat and i found out that it was ICCU. Langsung kita masuk lift lagi dan sepertinya merasa emg hidup Soeharto emang uda ga lama.

Begitu tau dia meninggal, gue yang (merasa :D) cukup kritis dengan hal-hal gt (hahahaha), langsung mikir , "what's next". mata gue ga lepas dari tv sampe malem. gue ikutin siaran prosesi sampe diskusi. dan disitulah gue mulai berpikir...

Untuk beberapa lama, Soeharto sempet jadi sosok yang paling gue benci di Indonesia (tentunya setelah pengendara2 motor yg suka selengean di jalan). Banyak cerita sejarah yang ngebuat gue sebel banget. Naiknya tarif tol terakhir kali, yang membuat gue harus mengeluarkan 22.000 IDR buat ke kampus, buat gue marah banget!! apalagi mendengar beberapa pejabat punya free tarif. gue kesell!! gue rasanya pengen nangis saking marahnya. Gue mikir,kalo sekarang aja udah segini, gimana ntar ? Thanks God, keluarga gue masih mampu membiayai gue, tapi then gue mikir, gimana 7 tahun lagi kalo gue punya anak apa gue bisa semampu ortu gue yang masih bisa ngikutin kebutuhan gue?Dimana gue dapet duit 1jt buat masukin anak gue ke SEKOLAH DASAR?? Dan gue langsung mikir, coba aja kalo Soeharto ga korupsi, ga bakal gue jadi begini.
Yang lebih bikin gue nusuk, sampe sekarang gue ga tau apa sebagai law student gue bisa berbuat sesuatu untuk hal kaya gini.

Waktu gue sma, gue cinta mati sama pelajaran sejarah. Cara ngajar guru gue yg lengkap sm ilmunya yang banyak, ngebuka otak gue sama sejarah Indonesia. Sejak 2sma itu, gue semakin pengen masuk Law Faculty, gue pengen jadi aktifis, gue pengen orang tuh tau mereka tuh punya banyak hak yang mereka ga tau. Dan dari situ juga gue mulai mikir, pasti Soeharto the only person who caused those problem. Gue tau kalo selama ini banyak pembodohan massal, gue tau masyarakat butuh sesuatu yang lebih daripada sekedar udara yang (syukurnya) sampe sekarang masih bisa dihirup GRATIS. Rasanya gue pengen ikutan demo. Waktu itu dan sampai sehari yang lalu, gue pikir penjara dan neraka adalah tempat yang paling pantes buat orang-orang yang ada di Era Orde Baru...

tapi setelah ngikutin diskusi, baca koran, dan liat gambar ada yang di tv, pikirin gue yang lain mulai terbuka. Kita ga bisa gitu aja ngelupain jasa orang lain ketika kesalahan yang banyak menutupi dia. Gue setuju sama Camelia Malik ( betul !! penyanyi dangdut !! bukan pakar politik baru yg namanya hampir sama ky penyanyi dangdut ), kalo kita mau lihat sejak 1998 banyak orang menghujat Soeharto, tapi ga pernah sekalipun Soeharto berusaha membenarkan dirinya dan mengkambinghitamkan orang lain [ ga separah whoever he is yang mengkambinghitamkan Pollycarpus yang udah dipenjara 20 th ]. Selama ini nama buruk Soeharto jadi dimanfaatkan sama orang-orang yang ga pengen dianggap salah. gue ga bilang kalo Soeharto ga salah, gue tau dia salah, tapi lebih banyak lagi pengecut-pengecut yang masih enak minta laptop gratis tapi ga berani bilang apa salahnya Soeharto. Intinya gue berpikir ...

mungkin bukan Soeharto yang ga mau diadili, tapi orang-orang yang takut dia dia diadili.
orang-orang yang takut keempukan kursinya harus berakhir di jeruji besi kalo mereka terbukti ikut ngebantu Soeharto waktu dia terbukti bersalah..
orang-orang yang takut kalo Soeharto meninggal mereka yang bakal tetep ngerasain jeruji besi untuk beberapa waktu yang lama..
orang-orang yang takut kalo mereka akan miskin kalo Soeharto disita kekayaannya..

untuk orang setua Soeharto, siapa yang akan tahu kalo dia sebenarnya mau mengakui kesalahannya?

that's politic.
kita ga akan pernah tahu apa yang sebenarnya terjadi..

gue sama nyokap gue yang emang agak dramatis, sempet sedih banget, gue BAHKAN sempet berkaca-kaca waktu nonton prosesi pemakaman Soeharto. Gue seperti merasa udah ada ending yang dia buat , tapi ada orang-orang yang ga mau menceritakan ending itu ke kita semua yang awam.. orang-orang yang kursinya empuk itu memaksa proses hukum dihentikan supaya kursi mereka tetep empuk, sementara masyarakat tetep tau Soeharto biang kerok semuanya... ( kasian dia...).

proses hukum buat menuntaskan semuanya emang tetap harus dijalankan, bukan untuk memuaskan rasa sakit orang-orang, bukan untuk membuat mereka yang kalah merasa jadi menang..

tapi buat orang tau apa yang seharusnya dimaafkan kalo ada kesalahan...

Gue masih inget, when i was a little kid, gue sekeluarga (beserta pembantu gue), ga pernah kelewatan nonton SEA Games, PON, atu pun hilang keyakinan kalo pasangan Riky Rexi bisa jadi pemenang di Bulutangkis Olimpiade. sementara sekarang, gue yakin anak-anak lebih milih nonton Disney Channel, orang-orang juga mending nonton konser daripada nonton sea games, pon, itu semua udah ga ada di hati masyarakat.. kebanyakan orang fokus gimana caranya jadi orang yang sukses, walaupun dia harus ganti kewarganegaraan. Dan udah sedikit orang yang mau jadi olahragawan...

Dulu.
walaupun gue masih kecil.
gue udah BANGGA jadi orang Indonesia.

gue bangga setiap Hari Kartini gue harus kaya ondel-ondel dengan baju adat. Gue bangga setiap 17an orang komplek gue kompak bikin lomba sepeda hias. Gue bangga setiap gue lewat pos hansip mereka lagi ngejagoin Indonesia di ajang olahraga. gue bangga punya passport Indonesia...

dan percayalah,
gue sangat sedih waktu salah satu lagu rasa sayang-sayange dipake jadi Closing Theme Song 'Malaysia, Truly Asia'.
gue sangat sedih waktu temen korea gue mempelajari lagu itu atas nama Malaysian Song.
gue sangat sedih waktu tukang jahit gue curhat dengan sedihnya ke nyokap gue kalo waktu era Soeharto dia bisa sekolahin anaknya dengan biaya murah.

gue sadar, gue tau.
gue orang Indonesia . gue harus bangga jadi orang Indonesia.

dan mungkin itu warisan terbaik yg bisa gue dapet dari era Soeharto. secara gue masih terlalu kecil waktu itu, untuk menilai soal politik. Semua orang boleh berpendapat, proses hukum harus terus berjalan, yang bersalah tetap harus diadili, tapi biarlah yang baik kita simpan dan buktikan yang salah memang salah...

jangan sampe orang main hakim sendiri kayak sekarang.

at last, it's all come back to GOD.
He had the ending of his journey ....
and for all the good and bad ...
i appreciate it ..

there'll be no Indonesia without his work ..
negatively or positively ..

Goodbye , Sir .
if someday i have a grandchild, i'll still make them know that when I was a child like them I only paid 250 IDR for snacks , got 4 candies for 100 IDR, and i was fearless when i was going anywhere else...

Thanks for all :D

a song for the past

2007-12-07T21:08:00.000-08:00

I don't need to fall at your feet
Just 'cause you cut me to the bone
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me
We were never carved in stone
If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I am the king of wishful thinking

I refuse to give in to my blues
That's not how it's going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't want to let you see.. no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

I will never, never shed a tear for you
I'll get over you

If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I'm the king of wishful thinking
I'll get over you.. I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
But I won't shed a tear for you
I'll be the king of wishful thinking
I'll get over you..
I'll pretend my heart's still beating
'cause I've got no more tears for you
I'm the king of wishful thinking..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

a song for the past.
ga tau kenapa denger lagu langsung suka :)

random notes 001

2007-10-19T03:13:00.000-07:00

pacar sakit , di rumah sakit , ga tau sakit apa

SEDIH!!! SEDIIHH!!

get well soon , baby!!
i'll be there soonn.

he is the guy ...

2007-09-23T08:07:00.000-07:00

about a year ago, i started to know this guy. With a big (huge) body, i have no other first impression except he's the brave one. HAHA [ lebayyy ]. ya , told you so, i thought this is not the first time I told you about him in this blog.

month by month , day by day, after i (finally) made a choice to have a relationship with him, now the time has come for me to think about the whole thing that (maybe) we have to work out together. about what may comes, what may stop, and surely something that can't ever be change.

However peoples said that love never fails, the truth is yes maybe (someday) i will failed with this one. The problem is this is not about someday we have to say goodbye and go with our own life. but for me, it's how i will forget because the whole thing that i've passed by with him IS too sweet.

Last night, we went to see some friends of him to play together in one of coffee shop in the mid of Jak. I met one of his best friends there (a girl). She is in a relationship with a guy for 5 years till present. but ... with a same case as me. they also had that differences. What makes it different is, the guy is in the process of making it the same ( you know what i mean, right ? ) . I got a lil shocked when my bf told me this. and when i got in car , i said to him a sorry that (surely) me myself, can't do like what his friends do.

I just can go through this.
that's all.

And what he said back is that maybe a bout a half or a year later, he'll graduates . Then he starts to work and so on .. get a new life a long. there'll be a time for us to get along with our own, start to make other relationship. friends , bro-sis, or whatever. Yes, simply the truth , like it simply hurts * siiigh *

Something hurts me, yet I know it shouldn't.

Well, that's my choice.
The unpredictable for me is i just don't know that i could lov him like this. He is the guy who always be with me no matter what i went through. He is always okey to be everything i need. He is the guy who spend his time accompany when i was lying too desperately in my bed because of my dbd, giving me the unforgetable trip in my life, givin' the best birthday. The one who cooked me some breakfast when i have no money to buy some. He gave me a lot of college notes , teach me along the day just to make me sure that i could get higher score than him. Someone to cry on, someone that has never ever mad at me or even just talking hard at me. someone who had a goooddamnn passionate. a partner , a lover , a friend that makes me love him like crazy. yes, he is the guy who successfully made a cry alonng just to think that some day it will all gone and end up with something that we don't want to.

He is the guy.
a guy that finally made me move on from any past.
the half soul side that i hope, he's not the one who become my past later.

leadership

2007-09-23T07:29:00.000-07:00

actually i don't get any idea why i wanna talk about this. it's only because i want to :)

as i know organization is a place for peoples who have same thoughts , same mission, same purpose, work together in order to reach the same goal. At least that's a definition for me.

In life, ga ada sesuatu yang selalu berjalan mulus Pasti ada aja sesuatu yang bikin halangan. For me, kalo itu terjadi dalam bekerja di satu organisasi, pasti banyak hal begitu.

Human being.

No matter how similiar is our purpose, we (as the ONLY human being) still have any kind of differences that sometimes it's the whole thing we gonna work out.

When i was in senior high, it was the first time i learned about leadership in organization. I blended with somekind of OSIS , and more specific, I joined Sanur KADERISASI named as BAKAR ( Barisan Kaderisasi ). Actually ,sekolah gue emang bukan sekolah yang punya cara mengoptimalkan kemampuan berorganisasi muridnya dengan bentuk kepanitian-kepanitian acara besar . There's a lot of proposal that they've reject ! ohh. * academic reason *. Tapi ga punya acara gede, bukan berarti ga belajar untuk kerja. BAKAR paid more attention about social life. We have to learned to be a leader for (let's say) poor people or anyone whom their rights was taken with no specific reason. That's the time i started to know that this world is not more than a big big, even HUGE aquarium. little fish always eaten by big fish. like poor people always lose by the rich.

Sekarang , di kuliah, semakin banyak pilihan organisasi yang bisa diambil. I choose to join what i like and where I comfort. Day by day, i learn to be a better person in anything i work for. Belajar banyak dari kekurangan pas sma, hopefully i've made a lot of better change. Ternyata di kuliah juga pasti banyak halangan kalo kerja. And sometimes emang banyak selfishness yang harus kita kurangi. We aren't work for peoples, we work for our purpose. we have to be adaptable in any condition.

Gue jadi inget ada temen gue yang pernah bilang,
"being a leader is not being nice,,it's about being right and being strong"

and how it starts ?
it start from our own.
take the positive and fix the negative.

GOOD LUCK, all :)

HOME-WORKS!

2007-09-18T03:07:00.000-07:00

semester 2 yang lalu, gue begitu merindukan adanya tugas ! HAHA
* it was ............. *

tapi sekarang,
semester 3 baru berjalan kurang lebih 3 minggu,
tapi mungkin sudah 1 lusin kertas folio yang gue tulis untuk ngerjain tugas.
HA! l e l a h ....

dan sekarang ada 350 pasal dari 6 UU yang harus di-resume dan ditulis tangan !
KUCRIITTTTT!

yaudalahh.
demi masa depannn .

saturday night

2007-08-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

my older sister just went to Bali this evening ...
and my little sister went to Geulis Mountain for Ursulin Camp this morning ..

and now.
i'm alooonnnne . HUHU!

metro mini

2007-08-12T03:08:00.000-07:00

Hari Jumat kemaren, pulang dari kampus ceritanya gue ngerjain tugas orkel ke catatan sipil jakarta Timur. Agak hedon dikit, kita ngerjain kesimpulannya di chitos, tepatnya di "Bistro Delifrance" dengan kesepakatan sendiri bahwa "Ya udah, kalo dari 10 anak yg ngerjain tugas ini cuma kita ber4, biar mereka yg ganti bill kita disini"
HAHA.

dengan dompet yang benar-benar kosong dan kartu atm yang hilang dan belom dibuat baru,
pulangnya gue mesti naik metro mini sampe pim buat fitness karna ga tega kalo nyusahin pacar terus.
duitnya darimana ? dipinjemin yvonne.

tapi, bodohnya, saya lupa ngamil duit itu dari popon.
dan kesadaran itu muncul pas udah di bus seorang diri * SHIT *.
yang bisa saya lakukan adalah ngorek-ngorek tas dan puji Tuhan menemukan uang seribu.
nah, 1000 darimana ?

saya terus berdoa semoga Tuhan ngirimin orang yang rela dipinjemin duitnya dan saya berani mempermalukan diri. Akhirnya naiklah seorang cewek dan saya liat dia punya banyak seribuan [ aiih. gue kaya maling ]. trus saya tanya deh,

" De, duit saya jatoh. boleh minta seribu ga?"

[OH NOOOOO!]

Dia ngasi seribuan ke tangan saya.

betapa memalukan.
dan mengharukan.

ada aja ya orang kaya saya yang bisa pergi tenang tanpa sepeserpun.
tapi lebih hebatnya lagii.

ternyata di Jakarta masih ada orang kaya gitu...
Congrats, Mr. Fauzi Bowo.
Wargamu membanggakan. HAHAHA.

GELARI - mayday.mayday-

2007-08-06T00:57:00.000-07:00

okay, fellas. i'm so sorry that i have to delay my post about global warming that i've exposed a bit in my last post.
I've been busy for this one last month, going through my so-busy-campus-activity. If someone ask me what this month should be ? YES, it should be HOLIDAY for us [esp. for me]. And for Godsake, I didn't feel the aura of holiday, even just a bit. HUH!

And now , I'm writing my blog during my boring work as a stand coordinator for GELARI ( Gelar Ilmu dan Inovasi UI 2007). Yea, i can tell you the truth this kinda enough-bored expo [ well, actually it's so-bored T.T ]. The only benefit of joining this event is that i can shake hands with the President of RI , SBY. [yihaa. and now i'm searching who capture that moment]. He was come here to open this event and during his -kinda.bored.speech.which.take.about.45.minutes- i saw someone important again. He is Fauzi Bowo [ a man whose face and name are put a lot in almost every way in Jakarta ^^ ]. And guess what ? I think he has a cute face. He's cuter than in the poster [hihiii. i think so. so-so... HAHA].

I have to stand by here for three days. From August 6th - 8th 2007. Actually, I got some money for it. :)
But now. I'm on trouble [ I guess so ]. Fac. of Law UI open a stand [ I was here, I'm here, I'll be here for d day after - FYI ] and there's a free law consultation for public. But guess who's coming ? A man. and He's such a freak. OoH!

He such a freak [ sorry to tell you , but He REALLY FREAK. SO FREAK. FREAK. FREAAAAK. oh God! ].

look. how poor is my friend

Let me tell you what has he DONE to US.
First, he said that he wanted to make a consultation. But then, he's going to be more freak. He take out some money and ask me if he should pay us for the consultation. I said no, it's free, Sir. Then, he take more money and he ask me whose picture is on the money [ OH NO ]. He put some in his forehead.

Then he ask me if i have some -koyo-. I told him to go to Fac.of.Medic. stand. but then he asked me back , "Emang kedokteran punya koyo.. ? punya..? - tampang meremehkan - " . He asked again if he can swim in Wisma Makara without becoming a member, And after about one hour here, he's gone with his freakness. Guess what?

Dia berjalan TIARAP.

SO,
Do I wrong to told you all that he's such a freak ?

August 1st, 9.31am

2007-07-31T19:31:00.000-07:00

YAK! because of the "small party" i had last night on my cousin's house.
I was oversleep this morning. *soo shit*

akibatnya , sekarang gue ketinggalan kelas sementara account hotspot gue pun expired hari ini dan mesti diupdate lagi. akh, this is not a good start in August.
i have a lotttt of things to do with my limited energy.

actually, i want to discuss a lot about what I heard in radio this morning. Tentang ada lagi aja ulah Malaysia (or whoever there) yang lagi-lagi "mengacaukan" perbatasan di Indonesia-Malaysia.

Di radio gue denger Prof.Hik lagi ngasih pendapat, pas gue turun dari mobil gue liat Prof.Hik di samping mobilnya abis ngangkat telepon [ ckck.. hebat euy Prof.Hik ... Haha ]

Tapi bukan itu the most important part nya.
gue masih belom baca banyak sih tentang kasus itu, tapi menurut indikasi pemerintah yang tadi gue denger di radio, masa si patok darat bisa patah ? atau katanya sekarang perbatasan di laut udah bergeser ?

kalo di darat bisa aja dipatahin sengaja.
kalo di laut bergeser ?

hmm..
apa mungkin karena global warming ?
HAHA. we'll see in the next post.

i've to go my class now. YEAH.

SIMPSON the movie

2007-07-30T05:33:00.000-07:00

KOCAAAAAAAAAKK !!

i can't even stop LAUGHING.
hahahahahahaha.

nostalgia

2007-07-21T01:45:00.000-07:00

today is Saturday.
so my job today is cleanup my messy bedromm. ^^
[ kalo orang lain pasti begaul, lah gue??? ]

dengan hidung yang bner-bener sensitif sama debu dan bangsanya, pembenahan kamar itu mau ga mau harus mau dilakuin sebelum balik ke kosan. Standartlah, namanya beresin kamar pasti nemu barang-barang ga penting beserta debunya.

Mulai meriksa satu persatu kardus gede penuh debu, ternyata lucu juga. Nemuin agenda mulai dari kelas 1 smp sampe 3 sma. HAHA. high school story.

Ngebuka banyak banget buku pelajaran, soal-soal persiapan spmb, soal-soal fisika,kimia, matematika, economic,akuntansi, sampe bahasa indonesia, buat gue bersyukur udah ga nyentuh kaya gituan lagi. hahaha. asik juga bernostalgia sendiri dengan barang-barang olddies.

Nemu plastik besar isinya kain putih bekas kampanye osis, bintang-bintangan buatan temen-temen gue, sampe satu kotak gede yang isinya LOVE STORY. HAHA.

ini bagian yang paling seru pas dibenahin.
ternyata goblok high school love stories gue. !_!

mulai dari yang paling main-main dibawa serius, sampe yang paling gw seriusin tapi dimainin (ups! namanya juga manusia,butuh proses pendewasaan ). Gaa lahh.. ga gitu juga , it's all have gone. that's the most important.

bener juga kata si Benyamin Mondong,
"memory ga akan pernah hilang walaupun dikubur kaya gimana juga"

Bener juga sih, kaya maybe sometimes gue jadi self denier yang sampe sekarang masih ga mau ngaku juga kalo ada part yang emang ga akan pernah hilang from my mind.

gue baca sambil ketawa.tiba2 senyum sendiri....
tiba-tiba benci... tiba-tiba kangen..
[ gila kalii^^ ]

Dari nostalgia barang-barang bodoh itu,
sebenarnya seneng juga . Feelin' like yea.. I GOT the process of life.
seneng, sedih, pinter, bego, semuanya harus ada.
mulai dari ngedapetin sampe kehilangan., semuanya ada.
Dan tentunya, kalo bukan karena My Almighty God,gue ga mungkin bisa ngelewatin semuanya itu . [oh,thankYou, Lord]

12 hours trip

2007-07-07T21:45:00.000-07:00

helllloooooooooooooo.
ya! after get lost with this blog for a month because my million activity was going to killing me softly, now i'm back to share about my birthday.

sebel banget ni hidung uda kaya keran bocor + mesti ke bandung, daripada bikin yg lain mending update blog.
ya, well, guys .
i thought i've got my best birthday ever ( at least untill i got this 19 )

on 4.7.07, we've planned to go outiside for 12 hours. start from 7pm until 7am next day.
racap yang sangat baik itu have prepared it so well.

first destination adalah kita ngambil kamera di bsd dan sampe sana jam 8 malem lewat. Makan MC.d sampe jam 9.30 malem cukup menyenangkan [haha.mengingat makan adalah agenda wajib dalam naracap ini]. abis perut yg uda kenyang smakin dikenyangin, here we go too Puncak. yess!

on exactly 12am, we're there!
can you imagine how happy am i ?
we passed it on Puncak Pass, eating indomie [the very last time for me-he said]. we saw so gorgeous cityview [ believe it! it's more than rooftop can do], and he give me a "cutie" present T.T

karna angin yg amat kenceng+udara yg bakal bikin gue ga napas,we decided to go back to Jakarta.
He drove along Sudirman street. lampu-lampunya baguuus banget. jalanan sepiii. *mellow dah*
dari situ kita ke MONAS [my dreamin place in J-town] and luckily we can go in. take some pic on 3am.

karena kmi berdua memang hobi kelaparan, jadi pergilah kita di Mc.Cafe Kemang. haha. we eat like crazy [ just like usual - ^^ ]. cuma demi ngumpulin happy meal. after that , we go back to depok . dan numpang rekob di kampus jam 7 pagi. haha.

YA, maybe it just like another trip or maybe some of you have greater than it.
but for me , GOD. it just like a dream.

don't you ever think that you're so in love with someone that love you so much ? you're laughing together , you're getting crazy together, you can cry on him, you can lean on him. Yes, i am.

I just thought i can't live without him, but someday we have to.
the laughter, dirty car , crazy eating , rooftop , gorgeous cityview, a hug .....
comfortable by john mayer- ...

somehow i want it to be everlasting ......

GIVE THANKS

2007-04-08T06:02:00.000-07:00

first of all .... HAPPY EASTER !!

hwua...
sudah lama skali saya tidak berkutat dengan blog ini, karena sedang asik dengan deviant art. Untuk promosi, you can check out my deviant art ^^ www.syasyasyasya.deviantart.com [ thanks ... :) ]

hemm..
sbenarnya agi ga banyak yang pengen gue tulis ..
berhubung hari ini paskah , yang kmaren-kmaren udah dijalanin lewat beberapa acara, gue lagi sedang mencoba memaknai Paskah itu lagi. Tadi gue baca satu renungan harian yang namanya RAJAWALI. Disitu ada suatu cerita yang berjudul "arti sebuah pengorbanan"

Disitu bercerita tentang seorang bapak yang bertugas untuk ngejaga rel kereta api, dia harus mencet tombol ato apa gitu, supaya rel bisa turun karena ada jembatan yg misahin jalan kreta api [ ga bisa kebayang ya ?? hihi.. SO SORRY :) ]. Ya pokoknya sampe akhirnya anak semata wayang bapak itu main kesitu dan dia nyangkut di rel [ beuuh.. tragis..] . Dan ga beruntungnya saat itu juga ada kreta yang harus lewat. Dan dengan pengorbanan yang sangat berat, bapak itu untuk terakhir kali nyium kening anaknya, dan akhirnya dia nurunin rel yang seharusnya dia turunin. Singkat cerita, anak itu mati dengan cara yang sangat tragis, dan lebih tragisnya lagi karena itu di depan ayahnya sendiri. Mungkin yang kepikirian di kita, mendingan orang yang ga kita kenal aja yang mati. Tapi, kalo anak itu selamat, ada berapa ratus jiwa yang harus mati. Bapak itu rela anaknya dikorbankan, demi nyawa orang banyak.

Itu sebenarnya perumpaan dari Kisah Bapa yang mengorbankan Yesus, anak-Nya yang tunggal supaya manusia yang berdosa itu selamat.

Dari situ gue mikir...
YA ! Sebesar itu pengorbanan Tuhan..
tapi gue sangat sering mengecewakan Tuhan.
sering kita merasa hidup kita ga sempurna... tapi sebenarnya kita udah dapet, [paling engga] yang udah kita butuhin. Beberapa hari lalu, gue cerita sama nyokap kalo kadang gwe pusing liat orang yang ketajiran.
dengan reflek mamabijak berkata ,
"makanya de, napa liat yg diatas? Liat yg di bawah,masih banyak yang jauh lebih susah"
[love u , mama]

gue juga baca satu sekmen yang ngebahas napa Natal jauh lebih populer dibanding Paskah. Pokoknya intinya, karena Paskah jauh lebih membutuhkan iman. Semua orang merasakan lahir, tapi cuma Tuhan Yesus yang bangkit. Yang membuat gue merasa sangat terberkati adalah saat khotbah ada kalimat .."Kita cuma perlu taat dan percaya" Dengan percaya orang melangkah.. Dengan percaya orang sakit bisa sembuh .. Dengan percaya berarti kita sepenuhnya pasrah sama Tuhan, dan percaya bahwa kehendak Tuhan pasti yang terbaik.

mungkin kadang, gue emang menjadi salah satu orang yang kurang bersyukur. Tapi sampe sekarang gue masih bisa sehat, gue bisa makan, kuliah, tercukupi, seharusnya itu menjadi hal yang lebih dari cukup buat bersyukur.Tuhan, thanks for today .... I've learned a lot of things . and I hope i can do it in my daily live..

TODAY

2007-02-06T04:06:00.000-08:00

satu kata buat hari ini. HAMPA
2 hari kuliah di semester 2 ini membuat gue mati gaya . Why ? Because jadwal kuliah gue setiap harinya dimulai jam 8 pagi dan selesai jam 10.30 . After that ? Nothing . Cuma hari Kamis gue kuliah sampe jam 13.00 . Akh! Jadwal ini ngebuat gue stuck , mati gaya. Hampir semua open recruitment di kampus gue jabanin, tetep toh gue males pada akhirnya. HUH ! Udah gitu, absen minggu ini diitung masuk semua karena bencana banjir. Hemp, seems like I supposed to have 1 week more holiday which at last , I didn't take it.

Hari ini, MK Hukum Adat selesai jam 9.40 . and guess what ? I have no idea for what I supposed to do. Rencana dan bayangan-bayangan indah hari ini runyam . I lost it all. fiuh. Pulang dari kampus, gue dan kedua temen gue nyamperin tempat DVD and beli satu film yang judulnya "Little Children". Gue agak semangat dikit karena gue pikir bakal refresh dengan liat anak-anak kecil lucu-lucu. Ternyata sodara-sodari, film itu ber-GENRE sangat dewasa. Bercerita tentang affair seorang pria dan wanita yang kerjaannya *ehemehem* mlulu...... ah ~_~

Alhasil, gue meninggalkan kedua temen gue menonton sementara gue tidur. Tidur ... makan ... abis itu ga nyadar mereka dah pada balik [AHAHA. teman macam apa gua meninggalkan teman tertidur ?]hihi . maklum , i was in not=so-good condition phisically . trus celingak .. celinguk .. liat jam ..liat tempat tidur sebelah .. liat jendela keluar ..terik agak mendung .. ga ada siapa-siapa .. cuma ada suara kendaraan bising .. trus gue sadar ..

DAMN ... gue kesepian
and I cry ..

agak jijik si nangis sendirian di kosan . tapi sekali-kali gapapalah . ahahaha. gue jadi inget sobat gue si Dina [ IYE , lo Din. yang sekarang jadi vocalist Band Disco di Jogja . HAHA -duit lo masi di gue nii-], orangnya yang kocak , lucu, periang, dan penghibur teman-temannya, dulu pas kelas 1 SMA pernah tau-tau nangis di WC . Kalo melihat wanita mellow seperti pada umumnya sih wajar. Inih ? Dia nangis ? HAHA . maap gue ga buka aib lo kan , Din ? Justru gue buat lo famous ni... ^_^ gue penasaran , gue tanya aja ma dia . Knapa orang kaya lo bisa nangis tanpa sebab gini ?

trus dia jawab :
" Adakalanya lo emang pengen nangis. Lo ngerasa sepi dan pengen nangis walaupun tanpa sebab apa[un, lo merasa butuh untuk nangis"

mungkin itu yang gue rasain tadi. I miss my crowded home, I miss my family , I miss my my my bla bla bla .. Maybe , karna selama liburan ni, gue spend more time di rumah yang bikin gue ga kebiasa lagi sendiri. HEMP. *Dangdut banget gue*. jadi gue biarin aja gue nangis, anggap aja sebagai bentuk mengekspresikan diri.hehe. ketika kenyataan ga berjalan sesuai dengan kenyataan , lebih baik gue diem daripada gue harus marah . Cita-cita gue untuk bertemu seseorang hari ini *yang ternyata tidak tercapai dan membuat gue sangat sedih*, gue alihkan dengan pergi jalan-jalan tanpa bawa hp. HAHA. ga nyambung c . tapi lumayan buat nyenengin diri sendiri. dan setelah jalan-jalan itu, gue jadi lebih fresh ... WELL, that's life.

ini BARU 1 hari .
there will be a lot of day like this . akan jadi apa hari-hari selanjutnya.??

07.35 pm
IPINA, thanks for accompany me today !!

sesi curhat : sanurkyu

2007-01-22T06:38:00.000-08:00

hump.
mengingat masa SMA emang agak sedikit meringis .
gambarannya agak absurd, memang :
kaos kaki panjang , kemeja putih dengan lengan yang juga panjang , rok taplak meja hijau kebanggaan yang mesti bersatu dengan kaos kaki nan panjang itu , rambut diiket dengan karet rambut yang cuma boleh satu warna , anting dengan diameter < 3mm , kacamata dengan frame yang warnanya ga boleh ga netral , NAME - TAG yang harus selalu dipake, dan masih banyak lagi ke-absurd-an yang ada .

kira - kira itu sedikit gambaran

tapi gue BANGGA . proud to be one of greenjail's. HAHA

tapi menengok keadaan sekolah sekarang . jadi agak-agak sedih .
KARYA TULIS dibatalin . * huuump *
tidak bermaksud ngiri adek-adek kelas tersayang.
tapi percayalah , siksaan di sanur itu berguna pas kita lulus nanti. Sekalipun gue ngutuk-ngutuk modul yang ngebuat gue muntah-muntah dan pacaran ma buku, itu buat gue terbiasa ngerjain soal pilihan ganda, ngerjain soal UAS & UAN , bahkan SPMB. Justru , dengan adanya 3 months modul, itu ngebuat kita pas UAS UAN nanti tinggal baca-baca modul doank. *suer deh*

huhu. kemana sanurkyu ?
ga nyiksa , emang namanya bukan sanur .* piss,, susterr!! *
tapi yang penting . spirit buat survive . bikin tugas di sanur emang berat banget ! apalagi pas ngeliat ibu ekonometri bawa segepok soal yang * bahkan * calculator pun ikut erorr pas disuruh ngitung tu digit-digit angka. * that's true * ~_~"

sekolah emang kadang kayak Indonesia sekarang.
pemerintah yang terlalu mengekang dan tertutup , tapi rakyat terlalu memberontak.
mirip *
tapi sekolah bertujuan membentuk karakter manusia. gue inget sepasang kata yang paling famous di sanur dulu . MANUSIA UTUH . beuh , jauh lebih famous dari " e cape de.... " *haha -- garing* . manusia utuh maksudnya bukan cuma mencetak orang-orang yang baik secara akademis, tapi juga orang-orang yang perduli sama lingkungan sosial.

HUTAN YANG PALING KEJAM ADALAH MASYARAKAT.

kalo dikasih beban yang agak banyak dalam lingkup sekolah ajah udah nyerah , gimana menaklukan masyarakat untuk bertahan hidup di situ ?
hidup susah . perlu berjuang, Bung !
mencoba bertahan bukan berarti frontal.

from the desk of AW - 6
9 . 34 pm

HUH!

2007-01-15T06:48:00.000-08:00

ceritanya saya lagi pergi ke RS. Siloam Gleneagles buat ke dokter gigi. Nah, sang dokter tersayang nyuruh rontgen gigi ini. yah , mau tak mau , pergilah saya ke kamar rontgen .

MAS-MAS Perontgen [MMP]
Tisya [T]

MMP : maaf mbak , iket rambutnya boleh dilepas ?
T : oh iya , bentar mas. [ ngelepas iket rambut ]
MMP : Boleh rambutnya jangan nutupin kuping
T : oh boleh . bentar mas ...

[ dalam hati : bawel banget ni mas-mas ]

MMP : uhm . maaf mbak . mbak ga sedang hamil kan ?
T : [ menohok !! ] hah ?? hamil ??
MMP : iya ,kan usia produktif. ruangan ini beradiasi ga baik buat janin .
T : oh . setau saya sih saya ga hamil mas. tau deh kalo iya. ~_~''

[ moment of silence . lagi dirontgen ]

MMP : udah , mbak.
T : oh ya ya , makasi ya , mas.

[ mas nya pergi ]

T : eh , bentar mas
MMP : ada apa lagi, mbak ?
T : emang saya kaya orang hamil ya , mas ?
MMP : [ lots og LAUGH ] hehe . ga kok ~_~''''

huh!

kawin lagi ?

2007-01-15T06:34:00.000-08:00

hari-hari libur emang enak juga kalo diisi dengerin hossip dari infotainment di televisi. haha. there's a lot of stories there.

koes hendratmo kawin lagi ?
after all that he've been through with her "old" wife for about 34 years ?

i just can laugh a little.
mengelus-ngelus dada . ckckckckck .
wishing . hoping .
that i'm not going to have a story like that.
[ disebelah saya : papa lebih heboh karena ngeliat berita itu ~_~' ]

untung gue masi muda.
[topik pikiran gue masi gimana cara kuliah bener]
gue ga ngerti kenapa pernikahan yang long lasting begitu tiba-tiba bisa patah dengan kehadiran seorang wanita yang punya paras lebih seger . [ yaya, she's younger ! so young to be marry with a man like koes ]. there's must be something wrong . tapi masa sih cinta yang salah . gue jadi bertanya-tanya.

atas dasar apa pernikahan itu ?
love ? loyal ? or just a seksuality ??
ketika seorang pria bertamah tua, yes, he did grown up, mungkin passion ga setua umurnya. tapi apa iya, pernikahan bisa rapuh cuma karena jenuh !?

if it's going to be "yes" , uhh.. i'm scared then.

"tiap orang diciptakan berbeda . selalu ada perbedaan . cuma saling pengertian yang bisa menyatukan perbedaan"

desk of AW no. 6
9.43 pm

warning

2007-01-04T07:46:00.000-08:00

hump.
welcome 2007

seperti biasa yang orang selalu harapkan ketika taun baru tiba. Hip-hip hurray, terompet, dan mercon serta colourful fireworks yang mencrat mencrot di langit yang hitam. tapi,rasanya emang agak terlambat membicarakan taun baru * secara ini udah tanggal 4 Januari * tapi yoweslah, gapapah.

my new year eve, dilewatkan dengan sangat melelahkan.
protes saya ke si papa karena harus pulang dari Bali tanggal 31 Desember, * padahal itu kan lagi rame-ramenya. Ibarat pas party, kita pulang pas harus makan* , jadi hilang seiring hilangnya pesawat adam air Boeing 737-400. Why ? Because I used that airplane, with the same type , when I went back from Bali. Thank You, Lord karena gue udah nyampe Jakarta dengan selamat dengan menumpangi Adam Air yang keesokannya hilang walaupun itu ga semenyakitkan digital camera gue yang hilang karena diambil Mr. Thief from Bali *akh!*

tapi, bukan itu yang lebih naas dari cerita taun baru.
selain insiden malam taun baru yang tidak bisa diceritakan, insiden yang lebih pahit adalah ketika seorang gadis berumur 18 tahun , kuliah di faculteit das recht universiteit van indonesie, melihat angka ditimbangan menunjukan UPGRADE yang kurang memuaskan alias - oh My God - berat gue meluncur seperti kembang api taun baru - ~_~

foto ini, gue ambil tanggal 31 Des 2006, *yaya, di dalem pesawat orange itu*
menyadari kalo proporsi badan ini udah ga seimbang,* liat dagu gue yang menyerupai gembok pager istana *huh* * gue cuek-cuek aja. *haha*. sang bunda lebih sibuk, karena setiap kali ngeliat gue, dia selalu nyeletuk "de, ikut senam gih" then , "de, olahraga napah ?" or "udah, jangan makan lagi, ndut"

duh.
ndutches.
what a messy warning.

karna itulah resolusi tahun baru 2007 yang biasanya panjang-panjang dan berbau banyak kebijakan manis, berubah menjadi one simple important point.

go far far away from sandwich, a cup of starbucks, sushi, bihun ayung, snack, and my other guilty pleasure.

4 scary letters
D.I.E.T !

from the desk of AW no 6
10.45pm

waiting for chrismast <3

2006-12-24T00:48:00.000-08:00

fixing a broken heart *

2006-12-22T17:42:00.000-08:00

i woke up this morning at 8 am ..
turned on my blacky ..
read a testi that said " how was your score ? "

yyyeeey!!! dengan semangad '45 gue berjalan menuju SIAK-NG..
dan gue menemukan.
uh, i thank God but i'm not satisfied enuff

gue langsung membangunkan oknum-oknum yang masih tidur dan membangunkan mereka dengan kepanikan gue. alhasil, pagi ceria ini ga ceria lagi. yay, I know that it's good enuff. on the other hand, it's unlike i thought before. in some points, i got better than I expect before, but in other points I got worse than I really really expect. x(

well, there's nothing to say but I'm waiting for another chance to fix it all.
abis merecohkan orang-orang dengan kebrisikan gue , I sit up quietly in front of my blacky . read it once more.

[ moment of silence ]

ya! I dissapoint with my self.
i can only hope . hope . hope . and hope . as much as I can do hoping. But I've never tried the best can do to fulfil my hope. my dream . all the things that I want it to be good. it's not about the EXACTLY score. it's about how hard I've tried.
gimana ga maksimalnya gue.
after went out from the story of greenjail, i met freedom.
abis itu kerjaan gue main .. main .. main ..
yaya, pantes aja nilai gue ga maksimal !!!

but now there's nothing to do.
maybe itu bsia jadi satu tamparan buat gue.
buat lebih bagus lagi kedepannya.
2nd term ................ i'm waiting for you

from the desk of anggrek loka
08.55 am

efek sinteron*

2006-12-20T05:55:00.000-08:00

ahaha ... finally ,,, I can breathhh freely ..
ujian akhir sialan a.k.a UAS itu telah berakhir ..
lebih tepatnya ketika temen-temen gue udah pada ada di Bandung , Medan , Hongkong, gue masih harus ke kampus ngurusin Gathering Day , dan terutama ujian Bahasa Belanda..

by the way, belakangan ini gue punya hobby baru . Nonton sinteron "Buku Harian Nayla" *ahaha. ga gaul lo kalo ga tau* . Film yang diadaptasi dari film Jepang , One Litter of Tears , ini emang secara umum seperti sinetron biasa. Ceritanya tentang seorang cewek named Nayla, yang harus accepted the fact kalo dia kena penyakit ataksia. Penyakit yang secara perlahan tapi pasti mematikan syaraf-syaraf motorik dalam tubuh . Di cerita itu diceritain how hard she have to struggle with all the changes. Dari harus keluar dari tim basket, lumpuh perlahan, pindah ke sekolah anak cacat, dan perubahan-perubahan lainnya yang drastis dan susah diterima.

well, that's life.
di beberapa sinetron religi lainnya sering digambarkan *most of them* kalo orang-orang berdosa kena kutuk dkk , sedangkan orang yang bersikap baik , generally, hidupnya akan aman-aman aja . Tapi dari sinetron ini, gue ngeliat kalo sikap baik ternyata ga jadi penentu segalanya. Perempuan ini, orang yang baik, multi-talented, love to cherish everyone, nice daughter and sister, tapi mesti nerima bahwa dia adalah salah satu orang di dunia ini yang kena penyakit berbahaya itu. Dari sini kita bisa belajar, that living life is not easy that way. Lo berbuat baik, lo dapet sesuatu dari Tuhan . tapi buat really-really depend on God, believe that everything happen for a reason, and commit to stay on that way is not easy.

that's why.
we have to thanks God for everything we've got everyday.. thanks for the air we breath . thanks for the hands, foots, mouth, nose and everything which still working. * sekalian notes buat orang-orang di luar sana yang operasi plastik, you waste your time for did it!*. although sometimes life full of obstacle, we have to thanks God that He still believe us to face this all.

ngomong emang gampang.
waktu gue ngecheck siak-ng and ngeliat PHI gue dapet B- , i was so happy. tau sehappy apa saya ? * gue lari-lari sepanjang koridor cornel jam 1 pagi, demi memberi tau roomate gue kalo phi gue *at least* lulus * . and that's much better than I expect before. tapi ketika gue melihat ada orang lain dapet B+ *belom denger yang A & C *, ada devil yang ngetok kepala gue and bilang *bego lo!*, trus dibales sama angel di sebelah kanan yang bilang *u have to thank God*. [ imaginasi aneh ]

ahaha.. but overall, kalo dapet kasus berat emang ga semudah itu ngadepinnya.
but we have to try. from all the small things in life.

thanks God for blessing me unconditionally.

9.22 pm
from the desk of AW/6
happy holiday all

been there , HAVEN'T done it yet.

2006-12-13T07:35:00.000-08:00

just like Brian Mc Knight said :

....... Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone. I give my best to you , nothing for me to do. But have one last cry, one last cry, before I leave it all behind. I gotta put you out of my mind, fot the very last time. <3

from the desk of Cornelius . room 8
10.37 pm

akh!

2006-12-11T00:56:00.000-08:00

okey , today i want to tell you all about my not-so-good day.

first..
this is the first day of my final examination.
when i first knew that my final exam would be held on Dec 11th, i was so happy.why ? Because it means that i'll be having a long holiday * at least for Chrismast *. But actually, this is not going so good. I feel like it's too many things too memorize, so little time, and i've known that there will be only 8 Question from 8 Chapter. I didn't sleep until 2am in the morning. I couldn't sleep but I insisted myself to go to sleep by hoping that i'll be better in the morning. But the fact is really different. FIRST ACCIDENT, i got up on 6am with a full spirit to take a bath because of my -rambut.lepeks.berat-. BUt do you know what ? AIR CORNEL MATI! Damn. I can only take a bath with 1 ember. Akh! Prinsip gue yang biasanya *kalo bisa ga mandi,kenapa mesti mendi* is lost. I want to take a bath because i'm going to have an exam, pleasee !!!

SECOND, I haven't meet my PA [pembimbing akademik-red] yet. So I decided to go to campus at 7 am while the test would be held on 8am. On Friday, i looked for her for a long the day. But the result is ..... i just knew that she was absent on 6pm. *after waiting for a long time-how poor...*. I ask to Mr.X on Birpen [Biro Pendidikan-red] and he said to me that I can go back on Monday morning to get a signature from panitia ujian. With a big hope, I came to campus this morning, went to Birpen for asking a signature. But, can u guess what ? He didn't even give me any ...

7.15am

T : Pak, gimana ini PA saya ga ada.
Mr. X : Oh , tunggu Ibu X ajah, ntar lagi juga dateng

(moment of silence--take a deep breath)

7.30am

T : Pak , udah jam setengah 8. Gimana nih ?
Mr. X : Oh, Ibu X belom dateng. Tapi pasti dateng kok.

(dag-dig-dug. time is still running,Mr!)

7.38am

T : Pak, gimana ?
Mr. X : Masuk aja deh ke dalem. Tanya panitia ujian.
(come inside the room)
T : Pak, saya mau minta tanda tangan
Mr. Y : Oh, ke tempat PA mu ajah. Siapapun minta wakilin ajah

(okey, i went to my PA's room.Nobody's there)

7.46am

T : Pak, ga ada orang di sana
Mr. X : Oh, kalo gitu tunggu Ibu X aja deh.
T : Hmpfff... (inside my heart-where are you Ibu.X ??)

7.53am

T : Pak, Ibu X udah ada.
Mr. X : itu, udah di dalem
T : *winkwink*big smile*
(meet HER!)
T : Bu, saya mau minta tanda tangan
Mrs.X : Oh, saya ga mau tanda tangan kalo bukan saya PAnya
T : *tersenyum semble* oh, makasi , Bu.
Mrs.X : Kamu cari dulu aja di PK.x.

Java people said, "mbok ya bilang dari tadi toh,Bu".
I went out from her room and back to my PA's room. Because Mr.Y said that i can get whoever signature from the same PK, i got a big smile again when i met somebofy there. A man . I didn't even know his name. *hehe..maklum..maba*. With i big hope, i REALLY REALLY wish that he would sign my paper. But ....

Mr. Z : Oh, saya ga mau tanda tangan.. Tunggu aja ibu nya dateng..

(inside my heart: AKH!!! BEBEK LO SEMUA)

i saw my watch and it was 8.15am..
so i decided to go the class ,, wishing that someone could compromize this all.

knock.. knock.. knock

T : Misi bu, saya belom dapet tanda tangan PA. Kalo sekarang saya ikut ujian dulu ntar baru minta tanda tangan boleh ?
Mrs Y : Oh, tanya sama dosen di dalem ya , dek.

....

T : Pak, PA saya baru dateng ntar siang. Saya ikut ujian dulu baru minta tanda tangan boleh ?
Mr. H : Oh , siapa PA kamu ?
T : Mrs. M , Pak.
Mr. H : Oh, yaudah sini. Kamu kerjain aja. Ntar saya tanda tangan. Jangan lupa dicopy yah

(inside my heart : NNNNAHHHHH,,, dari tadi donk!i Love yOu,MR)I had a little regret because when he was teach me last week i said that he was so boring and I didn't even pay attention to him *haha.forgive me,Mr*

the story continues...

i took a sit ... got an answer sheet and the question.
silence for a minute.. anddddddd.... BLANK !!!!
akhh ! i took a long time to make my self calm and got a concentration.

8. Jelaskan konsep negara sebagai alat pelindung Hak Asazi Manusia dan Kewajiban Asazi Manusia untuk mencapai kesejahteraan sesuai dengan UUD 1945 dan Pancasila. Kaitkan dengan tahapan pembahasan negara dan hukumHAH ????? I didn't even read that CHAPTER *negara dan hukum* yet!

I just got better when I did my 2nd exam today.MPKT. There's no theory and I'm so thank God that I didn't read anything about that boring subject. *hehe*. I only have to write about 4 pages of folio paper and smile... ~_^

okey *this not-so-good days end! enuff obstacle or today.
although i haven't get a full tank spirit *because on the other side, i only meet my cloud 2 times, hieks* , i have to insist my self to STUDY again again and again..
reality struct me. i have to go back to learn about PHI....
one Big family variety of law *hemp*

Good luck for tomorrow, sya! wish it !

from the library of fhui
4.46pm

love to be here <3

2006-12-03T19:40:00.000-08:00

there are a lot of reason why i love being here, i mean in the kost.

1. it takes no long time

i usually need a lot of time for prepare my self to go to campus. I need tome to wake up my self, open my eyes, listen to the new modern chicken *haha* [ i mean my grandma's voice ], pray, take a bath, and the other -come on,come on- stuff-. I have to get up at 5 am, prepare my self until 6 am, and go by at 6.30 am. Nah , in the kost, i can get up at 7 am or even 7.30 am, and then enjoy the lazyness [is it a correct spelling? ~_~?] and wait until the dosen comes.

2. i know where to go in the rest hour

if i have 3 hours for rest, it will beimpossible to comin' back to my wonderful bsd city , rite ?? In here, i can put my stuff there, then enjoy my time as a jin perpus with andre and warman *haha*

3. i feel more free now

okey..for this part.. i really glad if my parents read this all. i get tired to be at home. the fact is , i get stress for most of my time at home. Comin' home at nite, wishing their smile. But the truth that i accepted is they didn't even ask about my condition. They just ask about the thing that is unbelieveable for him -the fact is it is HARD for them to believe their children-. On my discussion with my grandmother, i called this *ketidakseimbangan hubungan orang tua dan anak*. Ya, this is it. I grew up in overprotective but careless family * confuse ?? overprotective kok careless?? hihi*. Yeah, i don't feel free to be who i am. I have a busy-working-parents. They don't have enough time for us , but they forbid us to enjoy our life. So that, i prefer to stay in the kost. One thing that makes me survive at home is only my grandmom, and my two older sister. My little sister ? i don't think so, dia belom pernah ngerasain jadi seperti kakak-kakaknya. * u never know what it feels unless u try to be in her shoes,sis!*

4. i have a lot of loveable friends here

i have a lot of people to share laughter and tears here. My roomate , my -girl-next-door, my girl-next-kost , etc. *haha* i find a partner , a lover , and a friend here.

Makanya , sometimes i feel better here than at home.
mompaps, i'm sorry .
Ashley Simpson said " you find your strength in knowing you can always back home"
but right now ... i don't even know where is my REAL home.
the best place to share laughter, not always tears.

from the library of fhui
11.06 am
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY , ANDRE !!!! love u !!

missing highschool days

2006-11-28T21:14:00.000-08:00

i really miss my high school days.
thanks donbell , for sent me that photos.
i do miss that expression. a messy day that built that stupid expression.

from the library of fhui
12.25pm

i'm not her and she's not me

2006-11-24T06:57:00.000-08:00

Standing by, All the way.
Here to help you through your day.
Holding you up,When you are weak,
Helping you find what it is you seek.
Catching your tears,When you cry.
Pulling you through when the tide is high.
Just being there,Through thick and thin,
All just to say, you are my friend..

The time that is stopped Is trying to move on,,So many things I don't want to forget...
" The good old days...;) "

for your information , i just thought this week is the most tragic week in my fhui's life. not to forget that God always kind to me , i thought that all of this busy stuff mess up my mind .

similarity.
i'm going to hate that words.

i'm sure that in this life, half of people in the world love being her/himself. Nothing to be regreted. Nothing to be blamed. God makes all seems so perfect in a different way. but how if someday you stay in a place that most of people said that there is someone looks like you ? at first , i felt it like usual and took it easy. and day by day there's a lot of people seems trying to compare you with her.

ahh.what the hell is going to mess me up?

i can't tell u all the story , but i'm going to tell the story with answering one of bulletin board on andre's friendster :

1.kamu sedang senang?
ehm... seems not

2.kamu sedang sedih?
yap!

3.kamu sedang tertawa?
not at all.

4.kamu sedang bosan?
a bit.

5.lagu yang kamu dengar?
in the end - eric bennet

6.lagu itu mengingatkan kamu tentang?
someone * s e c r e t *

7.apakah kamu anak gaul?
gue cuma jin perpus. mana mungkin gaul.

8.apakah kamu suka makan?
a day without eating is not a day

9.apakah kamu suka mendengarkan lagu?
yap!

10.apakah kamu sedang merenung?
maybe , i was.

11.keadaan kamu skg?
-- is it called self denying , huh ?

12.kamu sedang chat?
yiippi.

13.apakah kamu sedang terjebak pada cinta mati?
J , i know it's crazy but u STILL can touch my heart. *tae-lah!* gue sedang melepaskan ke-ALWAYS-an itu.

14.apakah kamu punya sahabat?
yeiy. they're my all.

15. apakah mrk shbt sjatimu?
i hope so.

16.lebih penting mana : pacar atau sahabat?
depend on the situation.

17.dimana pertama kali kamu bertemu sahabatmu?
SMP.

18.apakah kamu sedang makan?
no. this is 10pm , bebii.

19.hp kamu apa?
Nokia

20.fish or beef?
it's all the same. i lov foods =)

21.kmu lebih suka kalo kamu gendut atau kurus bgt?
proporsional and healthy.

22.apakah kamu sedang dipermainkan oleh seseorang?
i wish i didn't

23.apa yang sedang dalam otak kamu sekarang?
what's on "her" "his" "you" "them" mind ?

24. SATU angka yang paling kamu suka?
delapan [bukan karna bekas tanggal jadian-perlu diingat!!]

25. SATU nama terakhir yang sms kamu?
andre - my babi

26. SATU nama terakhir yang menelfon
kamu?
Gori - si beruang

27. SATU hal yang menurut kamu paling menyebalkan?
dibandingkan dengan seseorang yang berwajah mirip *they said*

28. SATU hal yang menurut kamu gak bisa balik lagi?
yesterday.

29. SATU kalimat yang mau kamu bilang kalo orang yang kamu sayang disamping kamu?
i don't want to like you deeply, but i do.

30. SATU kata yang selalu mengingatkan kamu tentang dia?
so sweet.

31. SATU orang yang sampe kpnpun gak bkl kamu lupain?
Jesus Christ.

32. SATU orang yang sering sms kamu akhir-akhir ini?
Gori - si beruang

33. SATU orang yang sering kamu sms akhir-akhir ini?
yah , kurang lebih sama jawabannya.

34. SATU kejadian terakhir yang bikin kamu kaget?
meet "her" in the library in the ackward situation. *so not her*

35. SATU kejadian terakhir yang pernah kamu alami dan menurut kamu indah banget?
broken heart. [cause it makes me learn from my mistake]

36. SATU acara musik yang terakhir kali kamu datengin?
Jazz Goes to campus

37. SATU orang yang gak pernah absen sms kamu setiap harinya?
my roomate. looking for the key.

38. SATU hal yang paling jujur yang ada di hati kamu?
i like you, but promise u i'm going to end it up soon.

39. SATU kata yang menurut kamu sedang kmu alami?
ackward.

40. Ketika lo marah,apa yang akan lo lakukan?
shut up and keep quite

41. Ketika lo sedih,apa yang akan lo lakukan?
laugh like crazy

42. Ketika lo menyadari kekurangan lo?
mengingat kelebihannya untuk bersyukur

43. Ketika lo menyadari kelebihan lo?
mengingat kekurangannya supaya ga sombong

44. Ketika seseorang menyatakan cinta ke lo?
so wat ?

45. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo jatuh cinta?
i will keep it as my secret

46. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo sakit hati karna cinta?
no gain without pain

47. Ketika lo menyadari kalo orang yang lo cintai itu mempermainkan lo?
say thanks and God bless you

48. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo cuma dimanfaatin orang?
sayin' good luck and goodbye

49. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo menyakiti orang yang lo cintai?
i didn't mean it * hihi*

50. Ketika lo menyadari apa arti cinta yang sesungguhnya?
let it go.

51. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo kehilangan orang yang lo sayang dan dia nyakitin lo?
sure that losing you is not the end of the world

52. Ketika lo ga bisa melakukan apa2 lagi di dunia ini?
keep praying

53. Ketika lo menyadari klo perasaan lo dipermainkan orang?
saying that carma is always there

54. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo mempermainkan perasaan seseorang yang sayang sm lo?
end it up as soon as possible

55. Ketika lo menyadari siapa lo yang sebenarnya?
say thanks to Jesus

lov words from babi-babi ku :

andre : so deep inside
warman : when a heart beating so fast
popon : haven't ask her yet *hehe*
tisya : ackward and stupid feelings

just like me now. argh!

*winkwink* ga ada lagi kan yang bisa diceritain. i have no idea at all.
i just KNOW that .. I'm NOT her and she's NOT me.

so please..... understand.
i quit from the game. goodnite.
GA ADA sesi pertanyaan.

from my home sweet home
with a fast heart beating
lonesome heart and ackward feeling
10.53pm

what a day

2006-11-14T03:49:00.000-08:00

hump .. what a day ...
go to class ..
heard the DOSEN said that half of us got under 60 on mid test ..
getting stressful ..
getting nerd ..
getting stupid..

akh ..
what a day !!!
tapi gue ga boleh mengeluh...
so thanks God for today .. ^^ *tersenyum garing*

mengutip dari profile clara :

Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable...
It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses,
you build up a whole suit of armor,
so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person,
no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you.
They didn't ask for it.
They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages.It gets inside you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness,
so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts. Not just in the imagination.
Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
I Hate love.

ilove u , ra . why do u hate lov ?
i BELIEVE that love is not as terrible as that description .

but well ,,

i don't hate love.
i just know that i don't love u anymore.
it's not complicated. it was over.

micho.warnet
06.52 pm

self DENYing

2006-11-10T06:46:00.000-08:00

first ..
this blog is inspired by : Gori & Popon
[ i lov u , popon . nama lo gue sebut ntuh ! =)]

uhm okey .. talking about love emang ga pernah ada abisnya . I think that in my last few days , my life is a bit full of lov problems . hehe . Mulai dari tetangga kamar kos gue yang lagi fall in lov banged sama someone , roomate gue yang ga selesai-selesai memilih , dan jatuh lah pada gue yang bingung gila sama sesuatu yang ACTUALLY ga perlu dibingungin .

Start from last Wednesday, when I i met my chupchup named DEA . She said to me that she watched Oprah Show on last Sunday and she remembered me. When I asked to her what would she said to me , she said " To left him .. is ur best decision ". Actually , i know who's that guy . Gue ga bisa bilang apa isi Oprah itu , karena sebagian close friend gue yang membacanya akan tau itu. Sudenlly , i was sad on that time . * yup, DEA , actually i know that it was d best decision ever*. Jadilah malam itu menjadi malam melacur [melakukan curhat-red]. Trus tanpa gue sadari .... " I was crying . " [ Oo God .. ! ]. Cuma dengan bilang kalo " LOVE is one thing that can't be changed ".

Hari kamis yang biasa saja menjadi cukup luar biasa dengan hari Jumat ini . Friday , i'm in the mood. After MPKT class [ actually , it wasn't finish yet ^^ ] , gue mesti ke SC buat kasih proposal GD. On the way back to class, gue akhirnya melacur [melakukan curhat-red] ke orang yang sudah siap dicurhati [haha]. It was a lil'conversation , but i can't stop think about that conversation . [ Arghh .. ]

DENY ..
It means refuse to admit the truth or existence of something..

Gue jadi mikir seberapa banyak hal yang gue denied selama ini. Tadinya , gue cuma bercerita tentang ketakutan gue ke senior yang selalu DIBILANGorang mirip ma gue . [ hufffss... -_-' ] . But , semuanya jadi lanjut jadi lacuran cinte. [beuuh]. I just told him about someone that * I thought before * i've forgot him . Gue sendiri sebenarnya ga tau apa kriteria dari masih mengingat atau melupakan. But this conv really made me REALIZE something.

T : Gue mesti lupa ni , de . Pokonya mesti lupa . Mesti lupa .
[sambil menepuk-nepuk kpala with TEMPO]
AG : Kalo lo bilang masih lupa , berarti lo emang masih inget .

[ jreng . jreng .. jreng ... Logically.. IYA juga yah ?!? ]

then , gue jadi berdiskusi kenapa setelah putus, banyak yang ga temenan. Cenderung menjauh , bakal memusuhi. Mantan-mantan lain diperlakukan biasa , sedangkan yang satu ini dimusuhin abis-abisan.

AG : Cara paling gampang buat ngelupain orang gimana ?
T : Ya jauhin ,, jangan diinget ,, kalo perlu musuhin ..
AG : Jadi klo ****** lo kaya gitu ?
T : [ quiet ..... wishing that it wasn't right dan lagian gue tau semua udah GONE ]
AG : Itu namanya self denying ..

ah gila.
SELF DENYING . only 2 words that struct me so bad

the more you try to forget , the more u will remember .
I'VE DENIED MY SELF..
to love is to let it go.love doesn't selfish.
Nyatanya , there always -even 1% in ur heart- a place for MEMORY to stay.
Love can be gone , but memory can't be erased.

kalo gitu , jalanin aja. Live life as it should be.
trima kasih banyak ya , gue sudah diingatkan untuk tidak mendenied kenyataan-kenyataan yang maybe it's hard for me to accept it all. I deserve to get better than before . Seseorang yang PANTAS buat dikasi lagu " Still with you". ^.^

Live your life from this day on
And love again
I know you'd do the same for me
That's the way that loves is supposed to be

Gue tunggu comment dalem bangednya lagi. * gutnite

10.19pm

my homm sweet homm

another brand new days

2006-11-08T21:24:00.000-08:00

um..actually,i were enjoy my last 3 days before..i had nothing to do except watch dvd untill midnite comin'.but i'd like to tell u all about my photography hunting on last Monday.i had an assignment from my photography class last week, but i just had took some pictures this Monday. I learned how to define the meaning of photo. And this is how i define 2 pictures that i love most :

i like this picture so much . This flower located in FIB . At first , i took a picture of some flowers that looked simply colourful. But , this flower attrached me. I named this picure , DARE to BE DIFFERENT. It was only one simple flower with a different colour . Brown inside the green. But if you look it clearly , there's a sun lighting that light some part of this flower. It means , you have to dare to be different with others [in positive way for sure]. When everybody seems doing something in a same way , we have to make a change . *

um okey.this about lovelife. I imaginated this picture as a couple. A couple that always belong together. But one day , something struct them . U can see it from the leaves. It's getting old and looks bad. BUt , it's ot about one thing that growing old and lost. It's about one pieces that can't be back. It had gone. Never back.

um,, it really touched me a lot actually. i remembered ... umm.... *someone maybe*. but ya .. i've let it go. though there's one thing that couldn't be changed . my love. no worries.i've forget it all. and i start again my another brand new day.

thanks God i'm very happy now.
hav a nice day all. i'm going to watch OPEN SEASON now. ^.^

from the library of FHUI
12.43pm

those old days

2006-11-02T07:54:00.000-08:00

The first time I fell in love was long ago

I didn't know how to give my love at all

The next time I settled for what felt so close

But without romance, you're never gonna fall

After everything I've learned

Now it's finally my turn

This is the last time I'll fall... in love

The first time we walked under that starry sky

there was a moment when everything was clear

I didn't need to ask or even wonder why

because each question is answered when your near

and I'm wise enough to know when a miracle unfolds
this is the last time i'll fall in love

Now don't hold back, just let me know

Could i be moving much too fast or way too slow

'Cause all of my life, I've waited for this day

To find that once in a lifetime, this is it, I'll never be the same

You'll never know what it's taken me to say these words

And now that I've said them, they could never be enough

As far as I can see, there's only you and only me

This is the last time I'll fall in love

Last time i'll fall in love

The last time i'll fall... in love

Eric Bennet-The Last Time

it's been almost 3 years . .

i know .. i understand ..

i let u go .. =)

takecare , pinochio ..

10.54pm.cornellius.

... and i said

2006-10-31T03:03:00.000-08:00

Its hard to pretend you love someone when you don't
but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you REALLY DO

from my hsh.11pm

sang maba menghadapi uts

2006-10-17T07:01:00.000-07:00

time walk so fast. baru beberapa hari kemaren , gue membayangkan bakal tidur malem bahkan pagi , buat belajar uts . BUT now , udah lewat 2 mata kuliah yang di-uts-kan. So far , it absolutely confuse .

Why ?

ya jelas lah , gwe maba yang ga dapet pelajaran tata negara di SMA , tapi nekad masuk fakultas hukum *hahay.mantap* .

honestly , i don't really understand what i've been learning about . ilmu negara , phi , pih , dan berbagai pelajaran pelengkap lainnya. Quote dosen yang paling sering gue denger adalah " Hukum bukan pelajaran hafalan , hukum itu pake pemahaman dan logika ".
But in fact .....................
* i HAVE TO memorize it *
There's a lot of abstract stuff that i CAN'T understand .!!
* what a pity * =((

Kalo mata kuliah cuma sekedar ngafal , berarti orang yang bisa ngafal mati dari buku tanpa harus memahami , bisa lebih sukseskah nantinya dengan orang yang biasa-biasa aja tapi selalu mencoba untuk ga menghafal tapi memahami ?? I don't think so . Sekali ngafal , beberapa hari kemudian kita bisa lupa. Tapi kalo kita paham , we'll never forget it for sure. Sometimes, menghafal memang jalan pintas mendapat nilai yang bagus . But i'm sure that i learned something from this kind of case.

SCORE is not everything though you can get a lot of things with high score .

Nilai A , B , bisa aja kita dapet dengan ngafal mati diktat atau kata-kata dosen . But i really-really sure , I WILL NOT satisfied with that . Kebanggaan bernilai tinggi , ga akan sama dengan kebanggaan memahami sesuatu . Well , nyatanya sekarang kalo ditanya lagi tentang hukum pidana , hukum tata negara n friends,i can't explain it all * he he he *. Or kalo IPK kita 4 pun tapi EQ yang ga seimbang,semua pun jadi sia-sia .

All the things in life need BALANCING .
sesuatu yang terlalu berlebihan dan berkekurangan bakal sama-sama ga baik.

Dan ketika gue sampai rumah untuk menemui orang tua yang sudah lama tak berjumpa , my paps brought me this pic :

. HARVARD .

Humpp, gue yakin banyak orang yang pengen masuk kesitu . But i'm not one of them . * he he he * Selain karena kemampuan otak gue ~_~ , i really sure that i love my Indonesia. KECUALI, untuk belajar disana untuk berbagi ilmu di Indonesia and suceed to be an activist .
dan tentunya ,, setelah Harvard turun standart .. * hihi *

my humm sweet hum
17 Oktober 2006 . 9.20 pm
hoahhhmmm....sleepy

..... finally

2006-10-14T09:39:00.000-07:00

finally , i know that i ALWAYShave friends to lean on and to cry on ..

happy UTS
saturday.14.okt.06.
11.45.pm

from the library of FHUI

2006-10-11T21:13:00.000-07:00

wat do you think about this stressful two girls ?
we're going to have mid-term test on monday !!!
smangaadhhh * !!

Learning from reality

2006-10-11T07:51:00.000-07:00

this afternoon, i went to my old school to return some book to Mr.Yo. I decided to go after babel class. First, i planned to go with my roomate, but actually she was still having an MPKT class at 12.30pm. So, i made a decision to go alone by myself.

i went to bsd by *KOPAJA* . hehe .. (sombong..) actually this is my first time went home by bus and alone.At first i was scared but i tried to make myself sure that i have to tried the other things in my life. Not always a life with comfortable house, good car, driver, and a lot of comfort things. I know that people always like comfort stuff , but i do sure that sometimes , we can't grow up and be mature with all th comfort stuff.

i arrived at my school at 2pm . A little too late from my first plan. [ hhahha..sampe aja udah untung ] My friends used to ask me to be absent at babel class actually . But i don't think that's good. Ow God, mid term test coming soon !! I don't think that i have bravery to be absent in babel class. I feel so tired there. But i was so happy because i meet 2 of my best friends in highschool . They asked me to get lunch and i said yes. We went to WTC and got some meal. There was nothing special with that kind of lunch . We just ate and laughed like we usually do . But after finishing our lunch and decided to go back home , i saw something special.

it was so special for me.

I saw a man that i used to call him satpam . =) he's not cute , good looking , or whatever it is . But i saw him help one nanny to get down by escalator. He hold her hands and accompanied her untill he sure that her saved.

it's so simple , right ? But i haven't seen it for a long---long time. Find someone that still caring other people is my pleasure. I learned something from him. It's not about his job that insist him to help people. But it is about his care. Care to other people whoever he/she is .We had educated since we were a child. Our parents "insist" us to go to school. Suppported us for always doing the best and getting the 1st place at class. we succeed to graduate from elementary, junior, and senior high school and come to university . But at last, we have to realize that knowledge without heart is nothing.

People can get a lot of money by being a workaholic. People can make a lot of project that can make them rich by learning a lot of knowledge. But if they are a corruptor ? if they are hurt someone's live ? They will be nothing at all. I'm sure that the man who helped the nanny had never wished to be a *satpam*. I'm sure that he wants to be more. But , i saw something within him. He didn't have a lot of knowledge, but he had a big heart. Big heart that can make someone's smile.

Life is about choose and decide. Having a lot of chance will be nothing if we're not taking the right one for us.
Not only the right one to make us happy, but also to make other's happy

9.45pm . my lovely house.
october 11,06. *happy bday , ara*
love u much

what my hearts said

2006-10-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

.... to get something , you don't have to lose something

bu eri...
entah kenapa lo bener mulu , bu
hehhe ..
and i'm on my way to keep better and doing my best here
i learned much from my mistaken

and to all my new friends
andre, warman, rani, tia, tantri
thanks for ur support
ayoo,, it must be succeed !! =)) *tersenyum ngarep*

dion's room
11.06pm . cornelius
makasie kaka [?!!] dYonz,atas pinjaman internetnya

while parents were going abroad

2006-10-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

now it's 12.10am n still can't sleep ..
since my parents went to
Boston last week, i felt that my house is uncontrol.
hehe .. there's a lot of lie here ! * ugh,bete
pertama adalah my lovely younger sist yang udah tau sakit ,, malah nyelonong tanding basket di SPH. Think that her body's not going to be drop again, gue pasrah deh ga kasi tau my grandma klo dya sebenarnya pgi ke main basket ,bukan ke wtc. untunglah her team got 2nd place in that championship ! cos if it's not , i think she's gonna be ill again *merepotkan*
ya, maklumlah, she's basketball addict, walalupun dya lebih addict sama dirly idol yang selalu dipandanginya sambil terkagum-kagum dengan wajah oh-uh-oh-nya .

n now, i'm still waiting for my sister to come home .
with my *ow-ow''already sunday morning and she's not comin yet* face ,, gue tunggulah dia sambil menonton tayangan baru gue every saturday nite ..
the show which have a popular qoute *don't try this at home*
and *CRAZY* , the show is really really crazy
gue ga tau itu manusia pada kebuat dari apaan
tapi feels like they have a lot of life
padahal, as i am normal , yang gue tau hidup tiap orang cuma punya satu nyawa, bukan ?
tayangan smack downitu membuat kebyasaan gue untuk bertanya-tanya dalam hatipun keluar
who's the 1st people who have the idea to make that show
seharusnya orang normal ga tahan diinjek-injek , ditendang, dipukulin
but those people who have a HUGE buggy body tersebut ,, tahan digituin !!
mereka malah bangga ikut acara smack down..
padahal harusnya sekali smack langsung down..

*hwakakak ...-_-' garing ya ?!*

karena ga tahan dengan kekerasan itulah (ya elah, berasa gue yang ngalamin -_-')
gue akhirnya berinisiatif mengganti chanel menjadi RCTI
dan thanks God, gue ketemu lagi sama acara yang nyaris ga pernah gue tonton lagi
OFFICE BOY
haha ... it shakes my stomach dan membuat gue sedikit melupakan sambut malam kelabu gue ini
duduk di rumah * menunggu kakak pulang

wadooowww....
where are you, sisterr !!!!
come home soon please ...
i'm sleepy ... *so sleepy ...

n thanks God again ..
i hear my sist cempreng klakson now ..
she's comin !!! [*scream.loud.with. yippyyippyyeaystyle*]!
uhhh ... my flufffy beeeddd... here i come !!!

zZZzzZzzz

so blue sunday too morning
12.25am
more blue when i know today is 8

devil wears prada, superman wears ... ?

2006-10-07T03:28:00.000-07:00

haha .. i came to my school this afternoon ..
just to see how my sanur had grown up so fast .. * phew *
siska my chupchup accompanied me ..
then she showed me a funny picture that made me laugh like crazy ..

here is the picture :

superman wears junggem clothes

hoho .. how come is superhero wears junggem clohes ??
i was so interested , too see the other picture ..

n here it is , the second pic :

*konyol banget ...
superman wears sarung ???
i haven't watch devil wears prada yet ..
but i'm sure that if there is a film
titled SUPERMAN WEARS SARUNG
it will be great film ..
* hehe .. jayus, sya! -_-'*

but ,
i know aura superheroes superman selalu ada disitu ..
no matter what he wears..
so i conclude something ..
DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER really true !
walaupun superman pake kaos winny the pooh ,,
he still have great power and great will
to help people with his power
cos actually ,
from great power
comes great responsibilty

hmppp... itu bukannya quote spiderman ??
* -_-'

i'm sorry

2006-10-06T08:22:00.000-07:00

phew ..
bip .. bip ..
*my cellphone rang when i was watching CLICK *
THEN one message appear

long time ago u hurt me
now u kill very cell in my body
u kill all that i have

i ignored that message
then it rang again *huks*

bye sya
ilove you
more than my self
i love you

with all that i have
i love you
bye
i hope we can meet in another world

i really tried to avoid my broken
but actually it doesn't go yet

with purple shirt and short pants
ready go to sleep and keep dreaming
enjoying my home sweet home
before monday comes, so i have to back to "cornel"
06.10.2006 -- 10:39 PM

forum C L3k4

2006-10-03T23:20:00.000-07:00

what a wonderful nite..
semalm gue menyelundupkan 2 orang teman buddy gwe ke kamar..
dengan maksud berbagi sdikit perasaan yang ga bisa terbagi ke orang lain ..
but ternyata .. ga forum curhat cuma ada 15 menit pas jam1.30 pagi..
dari jam 10 malm kita beli indomie ..
dan di warung , gue dan temen gw , si kikay ,, lyat tayangan metro tv ..
tentang G 30 S [ PKI ] --> I mean that word is optional .. ^^
disitu dibahas tentang pengahapusan kata PKI dalam kurikulum ..
dibahas tentang berbagai kisah nyata G 30 S..

n wow … we interest on it sooo much !!
gara-gara indomie dah slesai ,,
kita mesti balik ke kosan dan di kamar gwe blom ada tv …
kita smwa muter otak gimana caranya bwat nonton Today’s Dialogue itu ..
n o my God ,, kita bangunin kamar sebelah dan memboyong tv mreka ke kamar .. huakakak
tapi ternyata .. sangat disayangkan ..
antenanya ga bisa ikut keangkut ..

emang ga jodoh berarti *

hehe .. ya udah ..
akhirnya yang bisa kita lakuin cuma discuss ..
n sambil berharap acara itu diulang lagyy .. [ I beg u , metro tv ^^ ]
we remembered a documenter film named “Shadow Play”
yang kata guru gw ,, kalo ketauan tu film diputer di sanur pas jaman Soeharto …
mungkin 300 orang anak sanur dan gurunya bakal dipenjara..
*argh ,, konyol !
gw inget gimana film itu memaparkan FAKTA sebenarnya tentang G 30 S ..
dan membuat gue terbengong-bengong ketika seorang dokter forensik bicara :

“ saat saya melakukan fisum , saya tidak menemukan tindak kekerasan apapun pada mereka . Baik kekerasan fisik maupun seksual. Tapi, laporan fisum itu tiba-tiba berubah ketika sampai ke masyarakat “

dan terjadilah pemberontakan besar-besaran ..
yang actually menewaskan jutaan orang Indonesia ..
yang cuma terkubur hidup-hidup di berbagai hutan di Jawa dan daerah lain ..

dan lebih terbengong-bengong lagi ,, ketika melihat seorang pria yang ingin mengembalikan mayat adiknya untuk dikubur di daerahnya ,,
dan what happen ?

ditolak ..

sakita hati rasanya liat itu ..
bagi gue itu jauh lebih kejam dari aborsi ..
bahkan ketika tubuh sudah menjadi tulang ..
tulang tersebut tetap dianggap najis ,, yang bahkan tak diijinkan untuk mendapat space 2.5x4 m untuk tempat peristirahatan terakhir ..
masi jelas di bayangan gwe ketika dalam film itu terlihat banyak kertas-kertas dengan list nama-nama orang yang dianggap terlibat ..
dan ketika orang-orang itu secara paksa diminta ikut untuk dibunuh ..

mereka dibunuh karena mereka dianggap komunis ?
komunis bukan atheis . komunis bukan tidak punya Tuhan

gwe ga tau gimana membahasakannya secara baik. komunis adalah sosialis tingkat tinggi yang berusaha memenuhi kebutuhan hidup benegara mereka dari mereka sendiri. Mereka sering diangggap orang atheis karena saking mereka yakin dapat memenuhi kebutuhan sendiri , mereka tampak seperti tidak bergantung pada apapun dan siapapun , termasuk Tuhan .

what a world ??
gimana kita bisa menjudge orang lain buruk karena dianggap tidak percaya Tuhan ,,
dibandingkan orang yang jelas-jelas beragama , tapi membunuh jutaan orang ?

maybe God was cry in 1965 .. [ hump .. ]

sodara-sodara kita yang hidup pas jaman itu banyak yang mati sia-sia..
entah kapan masalah itu selesai ,,
gue merasa beruntung menjadi [maybe about] 5% orang di Indonesia , yang tau kebenaran kejadian-kejadian itu ..
yang membuat kita taw apa yang mesti kita lakuin untuk Indonesia..

okey ,, terlepas dari semua itu ..
gue jadi sempet mikir kamar kosan gue smalam jadi kaya tempat perundingan politik *
sementara anak-anak muda di luar sana banyak yang bersenang-senang , kita mikirin gimana caranya supaya ga ada lagi pemalsuan fakta tersebut …
[ padahal ada co cakep di kosan gw yg jadi cokiber bersama yang lbi anak muda untuk diperbincangkan ^^]
dan sambil berharap , ga ada lagi segitiga politik kaya tahun 1965 ..

n I do hope ,, that I can do my best for Indonesia ..
thanks friends ,, karna pembicaraan itu gue jadi lupa soal hal yang ingin gw lupakan itu . * keep faith !

goodbye , my lover

2006-10-03T03:15:00.000-07:00

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby thats not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby thats something I cant do
Oh I could say that Ill be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know Id only hurt you
I know Id only make you cry
Im not the one youre needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can find some way to understand Im only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
Youll find someone wholl be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love youll find with me
Oh I could say that Ill be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one youre needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I dont wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But Ill never be the one youre needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, its never ganna work out
I love you, goodbye

celine dion - i love you,goodbye

perdebatan kelas ilmu negara

2006-10-02T19:11:00.000-07:00

okey ... this gonna b my first posting again ..
after .. gue lupa alamat blog gue yang dulu ..
saking lamanya tak kubuka blog itu ..

hump ....
it's getting hot here..
depok panas banget lo ...

sepanas kelas ilmu negara gue tadi pagi ..
[ halah ... ]
smwa berawal ketika bapak dosen membahas tentang unsur negara..
ada wilayah .. bangsa .. pemerintahan ..
dan so far far away ...
the topic goes to PALESTIN vs ISRAEL ...
sebenarnya kita cuma ngomongin soal status kenegaraan palestin ..
tapi tiba-tiba smwa bergeser ...
dan gwe mencium ada bau-bau agama disitu ...

HONESTLY ...
gue ga gitu suka membicarakan suatu hal yang kontroversial ..
tappi berbau agama ...
why ? karna semua itu rentan dengan perpecahan ...

somehow gue mikir ..
begitu banyak orang mengutuk israel dengan stereotype pembantaian dan pembunuhan massal yang ada di Palestina ..
tapi apakah mereka yang mengutuk Israel itu ,,
juga mengutuk teroris yang ngebunuh warga sipil Amerika tgl 11 September .. ?
apa bedanya ?
bukannya itu sama-sama pembunuhan dan pembantaian warga sipil ?

gue ga tau dapet jawaban dari mana ...
but i still try to do my best here ...

agak sedikit nyaman waktu bu eri membalas sms gue ,,
n isi sms itu adalah :

Proses yang panjang adalah alat latian ketekunan
dan sarana menguji ketekunan
beruntunglah kita yang melayani dalam ketekunan
keep faith
u can come anytime
4 now , do ur best n still have fun

hump..
hari yang melelahkan .. ~