announcement

MOVING

patrisiapoopsticoalu.blogspot.com

see ya !! :D

the end of the journey

hhhahh. setelah sekian lamanya tidak menulis dan sibuk menguruskan badan, akhirnya sekarang saya menulis lagi. mumpung lagi pengen menulis. [ hehee ]

kalo ngomong tentang Soeharto, pastinya itu topik yang lagi hot-hotnya dibahas di seluruh Indonesia. Mulai dari station tv, radio, sampe pas tadi gue duduk di coffee bean + cinnabon pim, orang-orang sebelah gue juga lagi gosipin Soeharto. ckckckck..

tapi sebenarnya, sejak Soeharto dikabarin meninggal, gue, sebagai warga negara Indonesia yang sangat nasionalis [ HAHA :D ], ikutan kepikiran sama kepergian dia. Sebagai pemilik nama PATRISIA, yang konon kata ibunda singkatan dari Patriot Indonesia, sepertinya cuma saya dan papa mama yang ga bosen ngomongin ini. Walaupun btw nyokap gue kurang kerjaan jg ngasih singkatan nama ky gitu. Bilang aja kek kaya orang venezuela di telenovela, atau apa kek... lah ini ?!!? gapapa sii, bangga jg gue :D * wiide smile *

senin minggu lalu (21/1/08) adek gue yg dodolski itu masuk RS karna gangguan pencernaan, bahasa kasarnya mencret. hhehe. tanpa disengaja, karna RSPP adalah RS kepercayaan keluarga gue, diopnamelah dia disana. Believe it or not, baru pertama kali gue liat RSPP penuh dengan orang, mobil segala macem station tv beserta antena-antena pemancarnya disana. Sempet gue sama nyokap iseng ke Lt 5 tempat Soeharto dirawat and i found out that it was ICCU. Langsung kita masuk lift lagi dan sepertinya merasa emg hidup Soeharto emang uda ga lama.

Begitu tau dia meninggal, gue yang (merasa :D) cukup kritis dengan hal-hal gt (hahahaha), langsung mikir , "what's next". mata gue ga lepas dari tv sampe malem. gue ikutin siaran prosesi sampe diskusi. dan disitulah gue mulai berpikir...

Untuk beberapa lama, Soeharto sempet jadi sosok yang paling gue benci di Indonesia (tentunya setelah pengendara2 motor yg suka selengean di jalan). Banyak cerita sejarah yang ngebuat gue sebel banget. Naiknya tarif tol terakhir kali, yang membuat gue harus mengeluarkan 22.000 IDR buat ke kampus, buat gue marah banget!! apalagi mendengar beberapa pejabat punya free tarif. gue kesell!! gue rasanya pengen nangis saking marahnya. Gue mikir,kalo sekarang aja udah segini, gimana ntar ? Thanks God, keluarga gue masih mampu membiayai gue, tapi then gue mikir, gimana 7 tahun lagi kalo gue punya anak apa gue bisa semampu ortu gue yang masih bisa ngikutin kebutuhan gue?Dimana gue dapet duit 1jt buat masukin anak gue ke SEKOLAH DASAR?? Dan gue langsung mikir, coba aja kalo Soeharto ga korupsi, ga bakal gue jadi begini.
Yang lebih bikin gue nusuk, sampe sekarang gue ga tau apa sebagai law student gue bisa berbuat sesuatu untuk hal kaya gini.

Waktu gue sma, gue cinta mati sama pelajaran sejarah. Cara ngajar guru gue yg lengkap sm ilmunya yang banyak, ngebuka otak gue sama sejarah Indonesia. Sejak 2sma itu, gue semakin pengen masuk Law Faculty, gue pengen jadi aktifis, gue pengen orang tuh tau mereka tuh punya banyak hak yang mereka ga tau. Dan dari situ juga gue mulai mikir, pasti Soeharto the only person who caused those problem. Gue tau kalo selama ini banyak pembodohan massal, gue tau masyarakat butuh sesuatu yang lebih daripada sekedar udara yang (syukurnya) sampe sekarang masih bisa dihirup GRATIS. Rasanya gue pengen ikutan demo. Waktu itu dan sampai sehari yang lalu, gue pikir penjara dan neraka adalah tempat yang paling pantes buat orang-orang yang ada di Era Orde Baru...

tapi setelah ngikutin diskusi, baca koran, dan liat gambar ada yang di tv, pikirin gue yang lain mulai terbuka. Kita ga bisa gitu aja ngelupain jasa orang lain ketika kesalahan yang banyak menutupi dia. Gue setuju sama Camelia Malik ( betul !! penyanyi dangdut !! bukan pakar politik baru yg namanya hampir sama ky penyanyi dangdut ), kalo kita mau lihat sejak 1998 banyak orang menghujat Soeharto, tapi ga pernah sekalipun Soeharto berusaha membenarkan dirinya dan mengkambinghitamkan orang lain [ ga separah whoever he is yang mengkambinghitamkan Pollycarpus yang udah dipenjara 20 th ]. Selama ini nama buruk Soeharto jadi dimanfaatkan sama orang-orang yang ga pengen dianggap salah. gue ga bilang kalo Soeharto ga salah, gue tau dia salah, tapi lebih banyak lagi pengecut-pengecut yang masih enak minta laptop gratis tapi ga berani bilang apa salahnya Soeharto. Intinya gue berpikir ...

mungkin bukan Soeharto yang ga mau diadili, tapi orang-orang yang takut dia dia diadili.
orang-orang yang takut keempukan kursinya harus berakhir di jeruji besi kalo mereka terbukti ikut ngebantu Soeharto waktu dia terbukti bersalah..
orang-orang yang takut kalo Soeharto meninggal mereka yang bakal tetep ngerasain jeruji besi untuk beberapa waktu yang lama..
orang-orang yang takut kalo mereka akan miskin kalo Soeharto disita kekayaannya..

untuk orang setua Soeharto, siapa yang akan tahu kalo dia sebenarnya mau mengakui kesalahannya?

that's politic.
kita ga akan pernah tahu apa yang sebenarnya terjadi..

gue sama nyokap gue yang emang agak dramatis, sempet sedih banget, gue BAHKAN sempet berkaca-kaca waktu nonton prosesi pemakaman Soeharto. Gue seperti merasa udah ada ending yang dia buat , tapi ada orang-orang yang ga mau menceritakan ending itu ke kita semua yang awam.. orang-orang yang kursinya empuk itu memaksa proses hukum dihentikan supaya kursi mereka tetep empuk, sementara masyarakat tetep tau Soeharto biang kerok semuanya... ( kasian dia...).

proses hukum buat menuntaskan semuanya emang tetap harus dijalankan, bukan untuk memuaskan rasa sakit orang-orang, bukan untuk membuat mereka yang kalah merasa jadi menang..

tapi buat orang tau apa yang seharusnya dimaafkan kalo ada kesalahan...

Gue masih inget, when i was a little kid, gue sekeluarga (beserta pembantu gue), ga pernah kelewatan nonton SEA Games, PON, atu pun hilang keyakinan kalo pasangan Riky Rexi bisa jadi pemenang di Bulutangkis Olimpiade. sementara sekarang, gue yakin anak-anak lebih milih nonton Disney Channel, orang-orang juga mending nonton konser daripada nonton sea games, pon, itu semua udah ga ada di hati masyarakat.. kebanyakan orang fokus gimana caranya jadi orang yang sukses, walaupun dia harus ganti kewarganegaraan. Dan udah sedikit orang yang mau jadi olahragawan...

Dulu.
walaupun gue masih kecil.
gue udah BANGGA jadi orang Indonesia.

gue bangga setiap Hari Kartini gue harus kaya ondel-ondel dengan baju adat. Gue bangga setiap 17an orang komplek gue kompak bikin lomba sepeda hias. Gue bangga setiap gue lewat pos hansip mereka lagi ngejagoin Indonesia di ajang olahraga. gue bangga punya passport Indonesia...

dan percayalah,
gue sangat sedih waktu salah satu lagu rasa sayang-sayange dipake jadi Closing Theme Song 'Malaysia, Truly Asia'.
gue sangat sedih waktu temen korea gue mempelajari lagu itu atas nama Malaysian Song.
gue sangat sedih waktu tukang jahit gue curhat dengan sedihnya ke nyokap gue kalo waktu era Soeharto dia bisa sekolahin anaknya dengan biaya murah.

gue sadar, gue tau.
gue orang Indonesia . gue harus bangga jadi orang Indonesia.

dan mungkin itu warisan terbaik yg bisa gue dapet dari era Soeharto. secara gue masih terlalu kecil waktu itu, untuk menilai soal politik. Semua orang boleh berpendapat, proses hukum harus terus berjalan, yang bersalah tetap harus diadili, tapi biarlah yang baik kita simpan dan buktikan yang salah memang salah...

jangan sampe orang main hakim sendiri kayak sekarang.

at last, it's all come back to GOD.
He had the ending of his journey ....
and for all the good and bad ...
i appreciate it ..

there'll be no Indonesia without his work ..
negatively or positively ..

Goodbye , Sir .
if someday i have a grandchild, i'll still make them know that when I was a child like them I only paid 250 IDR for snacks , got 4 candies for 100 IDR, and i was fearless when i was going anywhere else...

Thanks for all :D

a song for the past

I don't need to fall at your feet
Just 'cause you cut me to the bone
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me
We were never carved in stone
If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I am the king of wishful thinking

I refuse to give in to my blues
That's not how it's going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't want to let you see.. no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

I will never, never shed a tear for you
I'll get over you

If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I'm the king of wishful thinking
I'll get over you.. I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
But I won't shed a tear for you
I'll be the king of wishful thinking
I'll get over you..
I'll pretend my heart's still beating
'cause I've got no more tears for you
I'm the king of wishful thinking..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking


a song for the past.
ga tau kenapa denger lagu langsung suka :)

random notes 001

pacar sakit , di rumah sakit , ga tau sakit apa

SEDIH!!! SEDIIHH!!

get well soon , baby!!
i'll be there soonn.

he is the guy ...

about a year ago, i started to know this guy. With a big (huge) body, i have no other first impression except he's the brave one. HAHA [ lebayyy ]. ya , told you so, i thought this is not the first time I told you about him in this blog.

month by month , day by day, after i (finally) made a choice to have a relationship with him, now the time has come for me to think about the whole thing that (maybe) we have to work out together. about what may comes, what may stop, and surely something that can't ever be change.

However peoples said that love never fails, the truth is yes maybe (someday) i will failed with this one. The problem is this is not about someday we have to say goodbye and go with our own life. but for me, it's how i will forget because the whole thing that i've passed by with him IS too sweet.

Last night, we went to see some friends of him to play together in one of coffee shop in the mid of Jak. I met one of his best friends there (a girl). She is in a relationship with a guy for 5 years till present. but ... with a same case as me. they also had that differences. What makes it different is, the guy is in the process of making it the same ( you know what i mean, right ? ) . I got a lil shocked when my bf told me this. and when i got in car , i said to him a sorry that (surely) me myself, can't do like what his friends do.

I just can go through this.
that's all.

And what he said back is that maybe a bout a half or a year later, he'll graduates . Then he starts to work and so on .. get a new life a long. there'll be a time for us to get along with our own, start to make other relationship. friends , bro-sis, or whatever. Yes, simply the truth , like it simply hurts * siiigh *

Something hurts me, yet I know it shouldn't.

Well, that's my choice.
The unpredictable for me is i just don't know that i could lov him like this. He is the guy who always be with me no matter what i went through. He is always okey to be everything i need. He is the guy who spend his time accompany when i was lying too desperately in my bed because of my dbd, giving me the unforgetable trip in my life, givin' the best birthday. The one who cooked me some breakfast when i have no money to buy some. He gave me a lot of college notes , teach me along the day just to make me sure that i could get higher score than him. Someone to cry on, someone that has never ever mad at me or even just talking hard at me. someone who had a goooddamnn passionate. a partner , a lover , a friend that makes me love him like crazy. yes, he is the guy who successfully made a cry alonng just to think that some day it will all gone and end up with something that we don't want to.

He is the guy.
a guy that finally made me move on from any past.
the half soul side that i hope, he's not the one who become my past later.

leadership

actually i don't get any idea why i wanna talk about this. it's only because i want to :)

as i know organization is a place for peoples who have same thoughts , same mission, same purpose, work together in order to reach the same goal. At least that's a definition for me.

In life, ga ada sesuatu yang selalu berjalan mulus Pasti ada aja sesuatu yang bikin halangan. For me, kalo itu terjadi dalam bekerja di satu organisasi, pasti banyak hal begitu.

Human being.

No matter how similiar is our purpose, we (as the ONLY human being) still have any kind of differences that sometimes it's the whole thing we gonna work out.

When i was in senior high, it was the first time i learned about leadership in organization. I blended with somekind of OSIS , and more specific, I joined Sanur KADERISASI named as BAKAR ( Barisan Kaderisasi ). Actually ,sekolah gue emang bukan sekolah yang punya cara mengoptimalkan kemampuan berorganisasi muridnya dengan bentuk kepanitian-kepanitian acara besar . There's a lot of proposal that they've reject ! ohh. * academic reason *. Tapi ga punya acara gede, bukan berarti ga belajar untuk kerja. BAKAR paid more attention about social life. We have to learned to be a leader for (let's say) poor people or anyone whom their rights was taken with no specific reason. That's the time i started to know that this world is not more than a big big, even HUGE aquarium. little fish always eaten by big fish. like poor people always lose by the rich.

Sekarang , di kuliah, semakin banyak pilihan organisasi yang bisa diambil. I choose to join what i like and where I comfort. Day by day, i learn to be a better person in anything i work for. Belajar banyak dari kekurangan pas sma, hopefully i've made a lot of better change. Ternyata di kuliah juga pasti banyak halangan kalo kerja. And sometimes emang banyak selfishness yang harus kita kurangi. We aren't work for peoples, we work for our purpose. we have to be adaptable in any condition.

Gue jadi inget ada temen gue yang pernah bilang,
"being a leader is not being nice,,it's about being right and being strong"

and how it starts ?
it start from our own.
take the positive and fix the negative.

GOOD LUCK, all :)

HOME-WORKS!

semester 2 yang lalu, gue begitu merindukan adanya tugas ! HAHA
* it was ............. *

tapi sekarang,
semester 3 baru berjalan kurang lebih 3 minggu,
tapi mungkin sudah 1 lusin kertas folio yang gue tulis untuk ngerjain tugas.
HA! l e l a h ....

dan sekarang ada 350 pasal dari 6 UU yang harus di-resume dan ditulis tangan !
KUCRIITTTTT!

yaudalahh.
demi masa depannn .

saturday night

my older sister just went to Bali this evening ...
and my little sister went to Geulis Mountain for Ursulin Camp this morning ..

and now.
i'm alooonnnne . HUHU!